Category Archives: Sick

Day 136 to 138 – In a corner…

Seriously and severely flat at the moment… You know one of those weeks where people you don’t want to hear from contact you, and the people that would make you feel better are no where to be seen… Lonely when I am alone is bad enough, lonely with people is just horrendous…

Maybe an evening reading in my favorite corner will help….

20140521-204221-74541841.jpg

Advertisements
Tagged , , ,

Day 132 – Clucky and Lucky…

Sounds a bit like a children’s book involving chickens and a dramatic escape from Sunday dinner…. But no, it was my afternoon… While getting petrol today I was standing behind a woman juggling a baby and the worlds most enormous handbag… Obviously her wallet had made a break for the base of the handbag… She looked at me apologetically, for holding up the line… I made the “it’s ok I’m in no hurry” with a smile face… Then somehow I am holding a three month or so baby while she dives into the handbag of bigness with both hands…

Two things… I am a large tattooed man, why do people hand me things like babies!!!! And the other thing is??? Let’s just say it’s a very good thing I don’t have a uterus… Or I would be out this weekend trying to get knocked up (insert heart song here)… Had a weird clucky moment, I suddenly missed having a baby, my youngest is now 8 (were did that time go!)… I was good a babies… No really!!! Other than providing high quality DNA, I was good at looking after babies…. Sniff sniff (weird man-o-pause moment)….

Luckily I was on the way to an appointment with my therapist, so I had someone to talk to about it, and I couldn’t go to a bar and get involved in some situation that might end up as a bad movie, think Knocked up or Junior… Also luckily a roadside junk pile I spotted on my way out an hour and a half before, was still there on the way home… Also luckily the Roger Lecal 1969 “LIPSTICK” mirror I found in the pile was a fiberglass original (not a plastic copy) and completely intact…

20140515-171908.jpg

Tagged , ,

Day 124 – Embracing Change….

Headaches, sweating, nausea, electric shocks in extremities and tinnitus…. and loving every minute of it… Yes I did watch an episode of get smart today, mainly because standing up was accompanied by a sudden urge to fall down… Lots of fluids followed by lots of fluids has been the order of the day… Other than a brief trip to the supermarket that is, which was timed around 75mg of SNRI (down from 225mg)… You may think all that sounds like a disastrous day, it wasn’t… I haven’t felt more like myself in years, or to be accurate, I felt like my old self, looking at my current self and saying “whoa man! What the hell is going on with you?”… And I kind of looked back and said “yeah I know”… Not sure if the conversation with myself is a good sign, but I might be one of the few people left talking to me these days?… I mean I can be an argumentative so and so, on the best of days. Dealing with serious depression and taking medication made me argumentative, moody and a bit dim… Then I added anti smoking medication for the last few months, that just made me an arse too… I was thinking of apologizing to the long list of people I have upset over the past 5
Years, 2 years or 3 months; but to be honest it seems easier just to start over… The cool people will just cut me some slack, and the anal people will try and make me feel bad, and I will avoid them… I am kind of putting this post out as an open apology, I am sorry for over reacting to whatever stupid thing you said (still not got the hang of that)… I am still probably going to be moody, occasionally sarcastic and intolerant of stupidity, but I will also be quick witted, passionate, creative and that annoying kind of charming that makes you fancy a quick snog… Did I mention my brain works faster when not stewing in pharmaceuticals?… Some people I know don’t know me… That’s not an issue for me, but do try and remember that for 5 years I have been a bit hazy and may not remember what I did to annoy you, before that I may have been a bit drunk?… So embrace the change, and to celebrate that change here is a picture of some change I sorted today…

20140508-000830.jpg

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Day 120 to 122 – One Down…

Three days since I posted, three days since I went off the anti-smoking medication… I suspect I still have a few days before it is out of my system… The half-life of the pharmaceuticals we put in our bodies is now another subject I can bore people with…. So that’s nicotine down, the chemical I took to get past the nicotine 75% gone (seriously if you don’t know about half-life look it up, it’s a good read)… And against the advice of both my doctors I am considering losing the SNRI too… I miss having feelings, good and bad… Unfortunately coming off anti-depressants can be tricky… Especially those with a short half-life (see I do go on)… There are a couple of choices involving the rather anal reduction and weighing of individual capsules or I can dose myself with an SSRI, then after a few days Stop the SNRI and slowly ween myself of the SSRI over a month or so (the longer the half life the easier it is to kick)… Either way I should be me again for the first time in five years again soon… I will of course secure myself during the full moon, just to be safe…

20140505-222416.jpg

Tagged , , , ,

Day 89 – No Dice….

Actually I have quite a few dice… and yes, well spotted, this is the kind of post I make when I don’t want to talk about it… Sort of a blog version of “hey look at that shiny thing!”…

Photo-353

Tagged
Advertisements