Category Archives: Children

Day 132 – Clucky and Lucky…

Sounds a bit like a children’s book involving chickens and a dramatic escape from Sunday dinner…. But no, it was my afternoon… While getting petrol today I was standing behind a woman juggling a baby and the worlds most enormous handbag… Obviously her wallet had made a break for the base of the handbag… She looked at me apologetically, for holding up the line… I made the “it’s ok I’m in no hurry” with a smile face… Then somehow I am holding a three month or so baby while she dives into the handbag of bigness with both hands…

Two things… I am a large tattooed man, why do people hand me things like babies!!!! And the other thing is??? Let’s just say it’s a very good thing I don’t have a uterus… Or I would be out this weekend trying to get knocked up (insert heart song here)… Had a weird clucky moment, I suddenly missed having a baby, my youngest is now 8 (were did that time go!)… I was good a babies… No really!!! Other than providing high quality DNA, I was good at looking after babies…. Sniff sniff (weird man-o-pause moment)….

Luckily I was on the way to an appointment with my therapist, so I had someone to talk to about it, and I couldn’t go to a bar and get involved in some situation that might end up as a bad movie, think Knocked up or Junior… Also luckily a roadside junk pile I spotted on my way out an hour and a half before, was still there on the way home… Also luckily the Roger Lecal 1969 “LIPSTICK” mirror I found in the pile was a fiberglass original (not a plastic copy) and completely intact…

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Day 128 – Framed…

Woke up quite late… Spent most of the day being annoyed at my phone… No seriously, from late morning till early evening I was actually annoyed at phone, it’s current content and it’s apparent complete inability to act as a gatekeeper for my currently fragile psyche… I finally snapped and gave it a talking too… Uncorking my bottle as it were… I am sure it will fit me up later, and things that I said will be used against me… It’s a fair cop gov? More like keeping schtum and call my brief…

Speaking of frame ups… Late 19th – Early 20th century large frame with original convex glass… With original photo of child on a rocking horse… It’s creepy and it’s kooky, and altogether my kind of thing…

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Day 127 – Worried about Nothing…

I often do, but I am trying to get better… Been expecting the kids to ask what is happening for Mother’s Day… I also spent most of the week leaving Sunday blank in the calendar, in case I got a request for the kids… Neither happened, in spite of tv throwing Mother’s Day into everything, and shops and roadsides burst with flowers and slippers, not one peep from the kids… They are without a doubt the most laid back children in existence, which can make you forget sometimes that they are little people that think, see and take stuff to heart… My new mission is to make sure they never give me the slack, they give their mother… Don’t get me wrong, I am happy these days that they don’t hold us to the same standard, it makes things easier… I get a lecture if I forget something, which is preferable to “that’s how mum is” and “it’s ok”… I guess we have all fallen into roles that we need to be in… So it is “primary care giver day” this Sunday… So I think it’s more waffles and a wander in the morning…

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….oh and hot chocolate and then maybe they will let me have a wander around the markets, without sighing and huffing… They are cute but they are a bit crap at masking when they are doing something they don’t want too… They can spend 45mins on one hot choc, but 10mins in a grocery store and I know about it…

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I was going to end there but my daughter just drew me an elephant…

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Day 113 – Till you Hear a Crunch….

Luckily I watched the part of total recall where Quaid removes the tracking device from his skull with my daughter a while ago…

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Why on earth is that lucky you ask? It sounds like irresponsible parenting to me!! Perhaps, but they are my monkeys and this is my circus, so if you don’t like the show bugger off… The reason the pulling a big red flashing thing out of your nose was important occurred today while watching a show called Brain Games,
Today’s episode was all about romance and how our brains can trick us… My daughter was impressed that I managed to avoid all the tricks and traps in the various scenarios… I explained that it was because I had the romance gland removed from my head… She asked how they did that… That is where total recall came in..

Farewell Cohagen.. You were an evil man, but you made a damn good ice-cream….

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Day 112 – Here be Dragons…

On ye olde maps unknown and dangerous areas were marked with the legend “HERE BE DRAGONS”… I guess there is no small amount of irony that an event with large crowds called Ironfest has a suitably medieval theme.. Anxiety from crowds is one of those dragons the maps warn me about… I however have reasons to put myself in the dragons den.. One of them even chose to dress as a dragon, I am pretty sure it wasn’t a personal shot at me…

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The other dressed as Doctor number 10…

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These are my reason for parks, events and all the other anxiety inducing things that occur outside my comfy home of many chairs… So today I stood in long lines, shot arrows with an audience, wore cat ears and ate a bratwurst in a bun… But here’s the weird bit… Not a single twinge.. Bead of sweat.. Palpitation… No negative mental dialogue… No urge to grab a quick smoke.. No desire to flee to the safety of my tin box on wheels…

That kind of felt like a bit of progress… Shhhhhh we don’t want to make a lot of noise and scare it away…

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