Monthly Archives: June 2016

Banananana…. 

You say it’s your birthday? It’s my Birthday too. It’s tempting to ask, what do you get? Another year older and deeper in debt. I could go misquoting song lyrics, all night long. Instead I will justify my purchase of a present, or self-gifting as it is known. 

As a single fellow I don’t need to buy a partner the usual requisite gifts for birthdays, Xmas, Valentine’s Day or sorry I slipped and my penis landed in the nanny day. So I am free to use these unclaimed relationship benefit days for myself. Today I lavished myself with a clomplety unnecessary (in both cost and purpose) watch… 


I was very pleased with my own good taste and thoughtfulness. Any future partner will need to do battle with the ghosts of gifts past to impress me…. 

Later in the day a bit of opshopping provided me with my surprise gift. 


A nice set of vintage Dior cufflinks for eight dollars. No more naked French cuffs for me… 

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I Hate Groundhogs… 

…and bats, squirrels, bears and bees. Infact I am down on anything that hibernates. It’s pure jealously of course, I would love to be able to just turn out the lights and curl up in a cave till winter was over. There is an element of thinly veiled resentment for my children at the moment, as they seem to have developed some kind of human equivalent of hibernation that is not an option for the ‘grown up’. The little feckers emerge from bed just long enough to fill their horrid little chipmunk cheeks with food, choose a new book from the shelf (without returning the last one) and then they return to their electric blanketed, Netflix enabled cocoons. One of the little monsters texted me to request a “hot chocolate and a snack” the other day. The phrase “I’m at war with a tiny army, that I have created” comes to mind.

Where is my cave? Where is my campfire and pile of animal skins? It’s a three dog night and I don’t even have cat…. 

The Bad Day….

I blogged religiously when I was angry, intermittently when I was happy and apparently not all when I was incapable of either.  It has been almost a year and half since i last put pixelised font to digital paper here, even though there has been a week here and there that I probably should have dumped the contents of my head somewhere.

In the past year and half I have moved house, changed plans a few times and forgiven people including myself. In the past few months I have burned some bridges, poured gasoline on a few more in preparation for the match that will come at some point. My head has been too busy and keeping track of thoughts has suffered, hence the return to blogging.

I didn’t choose today to return, today chose me. The sixth of June is one of those ‘anniversary’ dates, when the calendar reminds us of events. Today is my stepmothers birthday, and she should be with my father, celebrating, making plans to visit me to see the kids. They kids should be looking forward to seeing her, but they do not remember her. She died just over ten years ago, at the age of 49, from cancer. My father still mourns her. I do too. I also mourn that my children did not get to know this woman, she would have made them better. She made me better.

Happy Birthday Helen, we miss you.

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