Days 39 & 40 – I found something rare…..

A weekend… It’s been quite a while since I had one, although the kids go to their mothers every second weekend, I don’t seem to use them… Normally as soon as i get back from dropping them off, I get fixated on doing all the things that need to be done… I catch up on the washing, cleaning and sorting that always seems to slide in they days before they go.. Little tasks seem to fill my Saturday, and then on Sunday I focus on getting things ready for them to come home that afternoon… The break that isn’t one…

This weekend I just didn’t worry about it, I decided the mess could stay messy till monday… I ignored the distracting basket of washing… I didn’t pay much attention to the phone, internet or television, or any of the other things I normally distract myself with… I took a day trip to Sydney, sat in coffee shops and looked in shop windows (not buying of course, because of that whole “buy nothing new”thing), and relaxed a bit… Occasionally I even remembered what it was like to be me, and not just a parent… I know I need to find that balance, that combination of parent and person, It is easy to go one way or the other.. You can check out from the parent part, be that once a fortnight fun ‘Dad’ easily, same goes with throwing everything you have in, to become the best parent you can be… The hard part for me, at least, is striking a balance… I could no more be a weekend dad, than I could flap my arms and fly, but putting 100% of my energy into being a parent (and still feeling like I am not doing enough) isn’t good either….

So this weekend I thought a lot about balance, and finding a bit…


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