Day 33 – Bird on a Wire…

Never ever, I repeat never ever take an online mental health test… Especially never ever take one your therapist suggests… I did and now I  am overthinking… It is the same reason I never look up medical problems on the web, nothing like looking up symptoms to suddenly get a whole lot more…

I guess in this case I didn’t actually diagnose myself, a professional with qualifications up the yin yang (that’s a technical term, right?), suggested a first step might be to take a particular test, I may have underestimated her cleverness actually… I am assuming that she noticed, when suggesting Bipolar Disorder II, I got that skeptical look that i tend to give people when I think they have the wrong end of the stick… A person who wasn’t clever would have tried to convince me on the spot, showed me how clever they were by throwing symptoms in my face, which might have worked as long as they got everything 100% right… One mistake or miss-step and I could dismiss everything they say… It’s kind of my thing to do that…

But no, she pointed me at the web and let me do my own intervention… Well played…

Anyway the web tells me I have “indications” and such… and had suggested I talk to my GP… Luckily I have an appointment to do just that tomorrow… But since my therapist has already talked to my GP I imagine I will just be listening to my GP as he writes out referrals and adjusts medication levels… That sounds like fun… Knowing that after all that I will have a meeting with more tests, and then a chat with a psychologist and a psychiatrist is not fun… Nor is the idea of having a label… I am label resistant… It is not just pig headed denial, it is also the belief that no one size fits all… The world is keen to label things… That kind of depresses me…

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