Monthly Archives: January 2014

Day 31 – Wish You Well….

“didn’t get much sleep last night… freight train rattled through my head… Whistle blowing love is dead”…

Bernard Fanning hit the nail on the head there, well after I trimmed of the first line, “up so early feel so bright”… I was up early, but even the most generous observer would not say “he looks bright”…

I grabbed my coat and small dark cloud, and headed off to see my physiologist in the early AM… One of those sessions where, in my sleep deprived state, my rather high protective walls were down… You know when someone gets that look of “oh dear, this ones a mess” and quickly tries to hide it?… I do, it was one of those sessions… Which ended with a call to my GP to fiddle yet again with medication and a referral to the “Black Dog Institute” (and yes that it really what it is called)… She seems to think I may be a bit of a large white bear that goes both ways… It’s ok she didn’t think that was funny either…

I had (through self-diagnosis) dismissed Bipolar ages ago… But it seems I had ignored Bipolar II – the sequel… It seems to be a bit more “lite” on the manically manic… So apparently she wants me to sit in a room with a bunch of professionals, do tests, be asked questions and discuss things…. Well that has done wonders for my anxiety levels…

But on the bright side she seems to think I am least suicidal depressed person she has ever met, I am not sure she phrased it exactly this way, but I seem to remember her putting it this way “he is not a suicide risk, mainly due to a pathological sense of duty to his children”…. Hmmm that doesn’t sound like a compliment…

So after that rather draining episode, and with the knowledge of dealing with men in white coats in the near future, I headed of to Bathurst so the kids could go swimming, and I could shuffle things from one storage unit to another, in 40 degree heat (talk about the seventy circle of hell)…

Three loads later, and a trip to the local dump, and I was dehydrated, depressed and after finding a spider in my hair a bit twitchy… So I went and had a coffee… I drew this…

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Don’t show it to the men on white suits, they will read something into it… I already have enough trouble with them showing me ink blots of very unpleasant things…

So now I am back home, after a food shopping detour, feeling slightly ill… Possibly from dehydration or sunstroke or the emotional enema I started the day with… What ever it was, I am stuffed and couch bound till morning, hopefully there will be sleep involved… Just a little would be nice… I won’t count on the absence of freight trains, because I live next to a railway, but maybe this evening they can just be worked into the narrative of a pleasant dream….

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Day 29 – Close Up….

I still have a car full boxes and no where to put them… I am trying to tell myself I have an almost empty storage unit, actually back that up… What I have is a half empty storage unit and a two thirds full unit, so I am going to bite the bullet and give notice on one unit this week… So the mission for the next few weeks is sell…sell…sell… I must have had some kind of switch go off in my head recently, because even the stuff that I think is kind of cool, now just looks like something that is keeping me weighed down.. I opened a box of old camera stuff today, and I think old camera stuff is cool…

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Then it occurred to me that it wasn’t even on display, it wast just a box in the way…

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So I am dropping the box of camera gear to my partner, they can sell it straight away, and then I don’t need to think about that box anymore…

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I just have to deal with the next box…and the next…and the next… Maybe my challenge should include 365 days of cleansing (my surroundings and mind)…

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Day 28 – From the Cave….

Last night I watched Ironman 2 with my son… He spoke words of great insight to me, he turned to me and said “the rock music has started, stuffs about to go down”… And sure enough it did…

It has also occurred to me that if Tony Stark had been held hostage in my house, it would have been a very different film… My house is not a cave filled with handy weapon components and rare elements, so the suit may have been a bit more like this….

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Day 27 – Nothing to Report Sir…

Maybe my brain is in public holiday mode… An early morning brisk walk cleared the head a bit, and the knowledge that the kids would be home soon helped… So I spent the day playing maid, in that I spent the day catching up on all the cleaning and washing, and not that I spent the day chasing a young French woman around the house with a feather duster… Unfortunately…

So the house is clean, well cleaner than it would be if I could afford that maid anyway… The kids are home… And the week ahead is pretty much booked with either visits or things that need doing…

I was hovering on edge of a bad mood last night… Luckily I fell asleep before it could really take hold and keeping myself very occupied today seems to have dodged that particular bullet…

So without a chance to focus on things the black dog stayed at a manageable size… I even managed to get a photo of him…

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And yes that is a heavy handed metaphor going on there…

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Day 26 – Describe a Spiral Staircase….

Its one of those universal things, ask someone to describe a spiral staircase and they will make a circular motion with their finger, as they do.. As a downward stroking motion from the the chin will ensue, if you ask them to describe a goatee beard… This has nothing to do with anything, other than I have been watching Derren Brown DVDs today, in an attempt to seize control of the world through mind control… But instead of learning to be some kind of Sven Jolly (seinfield reference) I just took a nap on the couch… I suspect I take far to many naps to actually seize control of anything other than the TV remote, so you are all probably safe from my megalomaniacal rule.. Though I am sure the world would be a much better place under my control, there would be a lot less football and much more antique roadshow on TV for a start!!!!

Here is a picture of the steps/stairs I bought today… So yes all that first paragraph was just a justification for todays title and this picture…

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Well yes, you say, I guess that could be loosely linked to “a staircase”…. You might continue “But seriously as a segway that is really pushing it, I mean the explanation of a describing a spiral staircase was interesting and all, but the spiral thing is pretty spurious isn’t it?”…. and I would be quite cheerful, because you will have fallen right into my trap, as I have bought two of these in the last couple of days…

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So just shake my hand and say “well played sir, well played” and be on your way, with the knowledge I have bested you again….

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