Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Christmas Wrap….

We made it through xmas with barely a scratch, in fact this was probably one of the most relaxing, family orientated yules I can remember… Maybe because I stretched it out a bit, a party for the kids to be kid like…

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Surrounded by kids, food, music and the famous santa wookie was a great day for them… I am still a lump of anxiety and awkwardness, but they had fun…

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Lily got to play with little girls, doing little girl things… Though she still spent a lot of her time playing with her brother too…

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Sibling rivalry not really a major problem… Which is good, as I had horror stories from my ex of her battles with her sister, and as an only child I knew no different… But it seems that if you don’t drop them in a pit to compete with each other like a couple of scared dogs, you dot have to worry too much…

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The Boy child had a great time, with the notable exception of the “slice of doom” incident… One of the dangers of getting all hippy is that parties may contain treats that look tasty but contain something you are not expecting.. The look on his face was priceless as he bit down into a slice made from chickpeas…

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Christmas Eve was spent at my mothers house in Bathurst, some traditional meat and meat and more meat dinner, an exchange of gifts and the traditional drive around town viewing christmas light displays before heading home…

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The Girl child made some scrabble name plates for the table… Including the parent heart melting one, for me…

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Christmas day was very calm and relaxing, lots of hugs and chats and lounging around, and since they didn’t need to worry about traveling to their mothers till boxing day they just enjoyed the day, and so did I…

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These are my gifts… I treasure them everyday….

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The Long Game….

It is a busy time of year, he said… No shit Sherlock!!!, responded everyone else… However your busyness is your business, and these are my ramblings and I shall state the obvious if I want… The christmas rush is upon me, but not the run out and spend money on things I cant afford rush, but the tidy up loose ends rush…

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I have always taken a pick an mix view of beliefs, from blaming norse weather gods for bad weather, to crediting the horse shoe with luck.. At the moment I am misappropriating Feng Shui  to my own ends, in particular the part about not going into a new year with unfinished projects… Obviously I am going to be selective about the projects that applies too, if I was to try and finish every half-finished and half-assed job around here, I would need to live considerably longer than  I plan to… I am narrowing it to the things that need doing to get the house organised and aesthetically pleasing… finishing painting, hanging, rearranging and cleaning type things… It will be a near thing but it is looking good, and a few days of warm weather in the right places and the job, as they say will be a good’in…

This unchararoterisc flurry of activity is being driven, in part, by a plan… A plan that had its genesis over ice-cream one night a few weeks ago… The children and I were viewing BBC Knowledge, as documentary viewing makes up part of my homeschooling program, this particular documentary was about money, specifically women’s attitude to money… As we watched workaholics and vacuous goldiggers we chatted, and then we saw a woman that did without money at all, this involved a bit of dumpster diving (which the girl-child seemed surprisingly ok with)… The topics turned to that question “does money buy happiness”, easily answered, NO!.. but what could we do to prove that? Well with a piece of paper and a bit of brainstorming, we decided that money gets you things, things don’t make you happy, doing things can make you happy…. and most obvious (after a child tells you) having fun makes you happy… So it becomes my job to turn a piece of paper covered in scribbles into a plan…

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….So give or take a few tweaks the plan is this, starting on the first day of the new year we are going to embrace living and reject consumerism.. 365 days of buy nothing new, make do and mend and do more with each other… A simple little mission statement that requires a list of “yes we can”, “No we can’t” and “of course that doesn’t apply to underwear” type of rules… It will an eye opener for the me and the kids I think.. More traveling on trains and less time in the car… More packed lunches and less expensive takeaway… More analogue and less digital… Maybe I am finally going to get my hippy dippy life, the same life I railed against as a child, but that I now long for, for myself and my children… They have their own lists, mostly about travel, cooking and making things, even the permanently plugged in Borg child is, if not keen, at least accepting…

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So as part of the commitment I will be boring readers in 2014 with a blow by blow, of this challenge… It has become a turning point for me I think, so I need to keep track of the progress and the stumbles… I want to be able to look back a year from now I say “I did it!!!”.. So I need this blog (and the occasional comment) to keep me focused, and away from department stores… Wish us Luck….

 

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Drink Me…..

Or in this case Alice, I forgot to drink…. Friday is one of those days I would like to push reset on, but I didn’t know why till Saturday at 9am… I got back from my morning walk on Saturday slightly sweaty and wound so tight I could feel the fraying rope… Grabbed a cup of hot water and lemon to wash down the days anti-real world pill with, and noticed that the handy “what day to take this” packaging was telling me I didn’t take yesterdays chemicals… oh, that would explain the angry baboon part of my brain taking over for a while… and as you all know letting an angry baboon operate the heavy machinery is a bad idea, oh well whats done is done…. and sometimes no flowers or apology notes will fix it, so you might as well stuff a bag of dogs hit through the letter box and move on (to quote British comedian Jimmy Carr)…

So I spent most of Saturday a quart of good humour down, and by the afternoon I was at the point where I just wanted the kids back home from their fortnightly weekend with Griselda… even an hour trying to get my monies worth of complimentry tissues at my shrinks office didn’t help… The fact that my shrink schedules me as her last appointment of day so she doesn’t have to hit the stop button at 50mins (this last session went for 90mins), concerns me.. Should I think that I am so interesting that she works in her own time to listen to me, or that she is waiting for me to start eating the crayons so she can send me off to the relaxation of nice white sheets and basket weaving for a while… This week she seemed very happy that I had some panic attacks recently (you know the can’t breath, oh shit I’m dying ones), seems compared to all the other crazy going on, panic attacks are a nice little treatable thing to focus on… It was nice to know they where related to the depression and not anxiety, as I am sick of things that relate to anxiety…

So back to friday, Friday was the straw on the camel, not just a day of not coping.. During the week I made an offer (that if it was the other persons idea would have been brilliant and the best thing ever), but because it was my idea it was declined due to there obviously being fine print, the offer was declined… the counter offer was declined, because it was stupid, sorry there is no other way to put that…. So I will pick myself, dust myself off and get on with things… There is the knowledge that in five years time, maybe less none of this back and forth rubbish will be necessary, unless you swim against the tide eventually things will drift beyond you reach… I am and will continue to swim, thats why I will still be part of things… and in the meantime i will battle the jabberwocky and continue to follow the instructions on the bottle…

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